Here is a look at some of the Press I’ve generated over the past 24 years!

Didn’t Know I Had a Growing Cult Status!
Article written by Rene Guzzman of the San Antonia Express – October 14, 1999…
When it comes to slack-jawed fun in front of the idiot box, nothing beats home shopping channels.
Where else can you get 24 hours of nonstop perky people peddling curiously colored jewelry and other gizmos and gadgets? Need a necklace at 3 in the morning? Consumer nirvana is just a phone call and credit card number away.
Of course, why settle for convenience when you can have celebrity? World-renowned Paul Kelley hasn’t brought the streets of Italy (and some of its shiny bracelets) into your living room on QVC? Haven’t caught superstar John Cremeans of the Home Shopping Network (HSN) waving his happy hands over those oval iolite earrings?
If their fan mail is any indication, the real gems of home shopping are the hosts trying to sell them.
“It takes a bizarre combination of abilities to do this job,” says Kelley, QVC’s globe-trotting ambassador. “You have to walk and chew gum at the same time. You don’t have time to create an on-screen persona. When you do this job, it’s just you.”
“It’s a weird profession,” says Cremeans, HSN’s self-appointed “Doctor of Shopology.” “It’s a combination of a lot of things, like your personality and knowledge. But it’s not acting. It used to be you saw just a lot of hawkers, just this used-car-salesman kind of attitude. It’s not like that anymore because that can’t survive. People get turned off by screaming.”
With Kelley and Cremeans, you won’t find on-air aneurysms-waiting-to-happen wailing at you to buy Beanie Babies or sports collectibles. (If you want that kind of huckstering, check out Don West on the Shop at Home Network.)
Personable and laid-back, Kelley and Cremeans would rather “chat” with the customers, even if they just ring in to say hello. It’s this genteel sensibility that has more and more viewers tuning in, and dialing in, too.
“I get questions about my kids every day,” says Cremeans. “But the biggest amount of comments was when the network had me change my hair. I’m naturally all gray, but when my hair was dyed dark the calls didn’t stop. There were calls on air telling me to go back to gray. They feel like they know you enough to talk about your hair. These people want to feel like they’re part of the family.”
“It’s not what people think,” says Kelley. “It’s family entertainment.”
Thanks to Paragon Cable, that entertainment is hard to miss in San Antonio. The local cable juggernaut has four shopping channels on its basic cable package: HSN, QVC, and ValueVision, all broadcasting 24 hours a day, seven days a week, while Shop at Home Network airs from 11 p.m. to 8 a.m., with other times throughout the week.
QVC even has a local headquarters just a splash away from Shamu near Sea World. Open all hours except Christmas, the local facility fielded about 50 million consumer calls last year alone. QVC is the 10th-largest private-sector employer in San Antonio, housing roughly 2,000 in a forest of pine-green cubicles and cream-colored offices.
The S.A. facility is the largest of QVC’s four consumer call-in centers. Until this year, HSN has relied on its one phone-in facility in St. Petersburg, Fla. That changes this November when the network opens another one in Roanoke, Va.
HSN and QVC pioneered nationwide home shopping in the mid-’80s (HSN began in 1985, followed by QVC one year later), and have gone on to become the Coke and Pepsi of the industry. Last year alone, both networks collectively raked in more than $3 billion.
But it takes a special combo of marketing and personality to sell all that cubic zirconia and cashmere.
“At what point does entertainment become distracting from sales?” muses Kelley. “There’s constant tension there because there is not a golden equation. That tension of entertainment and commercialism is what makes us different.”
Kelley travels with The QVC Local, a TV studio-on-wheels featuring vendor information and historical commentary on whatever locale ties in with the on-air product. Feel like buying some gold jewelry panned from Alaska? There’s Kelley trudging in the tundra to bring “up north” down south to your TV.
Kelley says that literally going that extra mile makes the difference between an everyday salesman and someone you can trust.
“The host’s credibility is the most important aspect of the job,” he says, beaming his made-for-TV smile.
“It’s a delicate balance,” Cremeans concurs. “If you go too much into sales then you’re a car salesman, so it should be more of an information presentation.”
Cremeans has spent the past 13 years on television selling everything from salad crispers to shogun warrior swords. He says that unlike other businesses, home shopping flourishes because it’s constantly “with its audience” to gauge its needs.
“As viewers’ expectations change, we change with them,” he says. “We can see it happen because we live our business in real time. It’s not based on five months or five days ago. We’re living it at every moment.”
Armed only with index cards and improvisation, hosts such as Kelley and Cremeans discuss whatever item is up for sale and field live phone calls in the interim. Unlike the stammering sellers you usually see on telethons, home-shopping hosts must stay on their toes to keep the show – and the products – moving.
“If it goes wrong, you laugh and roll with it or die by it,” says Cremeans. “I roll with it and make it fun. A lot of that is not scripted. Most TV people have to go off cue cards, but we go live. Not even Johnny Carson or Peter Jennings have as many live hours on TV as I do.”
Incidentally, so-called shut-ins aren’t the only ones who call home shopping channels home.
“I talk to nurses and doctors who are second-shift workers,” notes Cremeans, who’s usually on the air after midnight. “They have no time to shop during the day. A lot of people who call have insomnia. They’re looking for something other than an old movie to watch.”
“You know who’s on the other end,” says Kelley. “College-educated professional women between 28 and 55. These are people who don’t have time to shop, but they have jobs. Also, the blind call in a lot, because we describe what we sell besides just showing it on TV.”
As for how Kelley and Cremeans handle their growing cult status, both take it with a humble shrug.
“I’m basically a historian,” says Kelley, who has also taught and created college courses at Philadelphia University of the Arts and Rutgers University, in Camden, NJ. “I just follow the advice of George Burns. ‘Give me 17 minutes and I’ll give you 17 years,’ I think he said. I’m just being me.”
“What you see on the air is pretty much what you’d get off the air,” says Cremeans. “I’m really like a neighbor. I don’t feel like a celebrity, but it’s wild when I get treated that way.”
Paul Kelley will be on QVC today at 2 p.m., Sunday 1 a.m.-4 p.m., and Monday at noon. John Cremeans is on HSN most weeknights 11 p.m.-2 a.m.You can also catch Cremeans on his Web site at www.cremeans.net.
Thursday, Oct 14, 1999

Here’s an Article From the TV Eye by Billy Altman

So the other night I’m watching the TV with the sound off (you have no idea how much fun it is to see Deborah Norville’s eyebrows go up and down without having any idea what she’s talking about) when my channel-surfing thumb stops on what I think is an episode of “Absolutely Fabulous” with Patsy Stone modeling some retro-chic Chanel type outfit. Suddenly the revelation hits me that the blonde with the piled-up hair and mid-1960’s makeup isn’t the fictional Pats at all, but the real thing herself — IVANA TRUMP!!! I quickly un- mute and discover that I’ve happened upon yet another amazing, for-the-archives moment on the always fascinating Home Shopping Network. The Ivana (y’know, like “The Donald”) is hawking her “personal” line of clothing, jewelry, accessories, and beauty creams on the “Celebrity Shopping” hour. And, man, can she hawk!
“Dis creeeem is de best sink on irt, laydis — I swear dis to you!”
“Dun you just luv de pick-a-bu look on dis jecket? Dun you?”
“Look at dis! Tree rows of de small, teeny tiny pearls — there are townsents of dem!”
“End see here, on de beck of de necklace, vot makes it special — de sign of de Ivana! End you can verr it all year long too — goes wit everyting! Maybe you take it on a cruise, yes? Daht vould be nice, right, laydis? It’s only $l8.69 — can youbelieve dat? Oh, vait — you must see de earrings dat go vit it! Dere only $10.49! Is dis vunderful value or vot?”
I’ll tell you — after an hour with Ivana, I’m just about ready to grab the phone and order a whole new wardrobe and start life over as a cross-dresser. She’s that good. Could Marla do this? I think not. In fact, at this point, I’m about convinced that Donald’s “Art of the Deal” was really just. sicking Ivana loose on whoever he was trying to haggle with and letting her talk non-stop until they gave in. I mean, the woman’s an absolute genius!
Of course, not everything on the Home Shopping Channel is as good as the Celebrity Shopping Hour (Connie Stevens — come on down!) But there are times — three in theafternoon., four in the morning — when it’s really your best shot at finding something truly entertaining on TV. Last week, they had the British guy from the “SuperSlicer” infomercial as the special guest on their “Night Life” show, (hey, HSN has shows just like every other channel — and dig, NO DISTRACTING COMMERCIALS!!), and not only did he divulge the secret of the remarkable “waffle cut” maneuver (“Just twist your wrist when you come back up; isn’t that amazing?”), and not only did he toss in, “free of charge” when you order the Super Slicer for just $14.95, (plus $3.95 shipping and handling, of course), the garnishing knife, the juicer attachment, and the grater, but he even dared to include — again, absolutely free! — the forty minute instructional video. “Unbelievable!” beamed “Night Life” host John Cremeans. “You know, folks, this video is great entertainment all by itself! What value!”
We’re sure it is–but not half as much entertainment as watching Brian the sports guy talk out of the side of his mouth while pitching everything from autographed Cal Ripken, Jr. commemorative plaques and World Series souvenir coins, (“These are all limited editions, and you smart collectable fans know what that means!”), to gold-plated college football cards and car racing pennants. “We call thesespecialty items. They’re not for everyone,” cautions Brian. “Only the truly discriminating collector understands their value!”
Now I must admit that all this endless talk about value, value, value got me more than a little psyched and I was all ready to gobble up something just to be apart of it all — y’know, maybe the Golf Shoe Covers, (“One size fits all!”), or the Negative Ion Generator.
But then, just before the “Absolute CZ” hour, (that’s 100% authentic cubic zirconia, of course), — this very nice looking woman came on, and in warm, comforting tones explained exactly how the Home Shopping Network determines the retail values of the items they sell. This, verbatim, is what she said:
“The Home Shopping Network determines the retail value when we’re selling a product. Retail values are determined by manufacturer’s suggested retail prices, shopping surveys, appraisals, and retail pricing formulas. We cannot assure that our retail values represent prevailing prices in any particular community. We believe that our retail value does not substantially exceed the highest retail price at which the item or a similar item is offered for sale in our distribution area.”
This really is a great country, isn’t it?

John’s a Star Wars Maniac!

Here’s an article written by Mike Brassfield, of the St. Petersburg Times – May 13, 1999
There is a great disturbance in The Force.
Hard-core fans around the Tampa Bay area took Wednesday off to camp outside movie multiplexes. Equipped with laptop computers, lightsabers, snack cakes and fast food, they claimed their places in line.
The hardiest souls had snoozed on sidewalks the night before.
All this for tickets to Star Wars: Episode 1 — The Phantom Menace.
The year’s most widely hyped, wildly anticipated movie won’t even open for a week. Tickets went on sale Wednesday, prompting lines to form Tuesday.
“I know so many people who have called in sick today. Every boss and teacher is going to hate George Lucas,” said Kris McNulty, 24, after an all-night vigil at St. Petersburg’s AMC Crossroads 8 Theatres. “It’s going to be worse next week when the movie starts.”
First in line were St. Petersburg High School juniors Todd Maxwell and Steve Duffy, who passed 23 hours at the box office in style — tent, portable generator, TV, VCR and Star Wars videos.
Next in line were the Klingons. A Klingon-oriented Star Trek fan club showed up en masse, members buying their allotted 12 tickets for Phantom’s first showing at 12:01 a.m. next Wednesday.
“We want to see virgin film,” said the club’s commanding officer, Bob Tempe.

LARGO: The 200 people in line at AMC Theatres at Tri-City Plaza cheered when Ian Van Leeuwen held up his ticket shortly after 3 p.m. The 25-year-old was first in line at 3:30 a.m. He and two buddies brought lawn chairs, sleeping bags, cards and Cuban sandwiches. All three work for a catering company. Two had the day off, but Van Leeuwen had to be at work at 4 p.m.

John Cremeans, overnight host at the Home Shopping Network, got off work at 3 a.m. and drove directly to the theater to nab the fourth spot in line. He saw the original Star Wars with his dad in 1977. “It opened up this whole new world for me,” said Cremeans, 37, who says he has seen each Star Wars movie 200 times.

NEW PORT RICHEY: When 18-year-old Joe Laffey got the first Phantom ticket in Pasco
County, it was the culmination of 14 hours of camping outside Hollywood 18 theaters. He plans to be first in the door next week, too. Laffey tried to explain the Star Wars mystique: “It’s a whole different world. It’s a classic story of good over evil.”
Fueled by Sun Chips and Little Debbies washed down with citrus soda, Jason Mitchell and friends amused themselves playing cards, wielding lightsabers and “memorizing the 10 songs Regal plays.”

SPRING HILL: Martin McGraw brought his lawn chair to Regency Cinema’s Spring Hill 8 at 9:30 a.m. after morning news programs showed crowds lining up elsewhere. McGraw found himself first in line. “I thought it was going to be busier than it is,” he said sheepishly. The 19-year-old from Glasgow, Scotland, can’t wait to see fellow countryman Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobe. His friends back home have to wait until the movie opens there in September. “Maybe I’ll be the first person from Scotland to see it,” McGraw said.
– Staff writers Maureen Byrne, Beth Glenn and Amy J. Schatz contributed to this report.

You’re On!

ST. PETERSBURG – Three minutes doesn’t seem like a lot of time, unless you have hot lights shining in your face, you’re supposed to talk about something you’ve never seen before, and you have to remember to smile while delivering a speech that you’re just making up as you go along.

Such is the life of a Home Shopping Network host, and seven Tampa Bay area students will tell you it’s not as easy as it looks. Even kids who are as comfortable chattering away on camera as they are using a cell phone found out this month how nerve-wracking it can be to try to sell something on live TV. The group of aspiring broadcasters and performers, hand-picked by Junior Achievement, competed for a chance to get on the air as part of a Groundhog Day contest at the network’s headquarters.

The winner was Jordan Wilkerson, 18, a Countryside High 12th-grader who dazzled during her audition in front of longtime HSN host John Cremeans, then appeared later that morning on the air with host Kathy Wolf. She spent about 20 minutes live on one of the HSN cooking sets, helping Wolf sell a panini maker. She even managed to look graceful on camera while tasting bites of the hot sandwiches.

Even if Wilkerson made it look easy, the students agreed the job is anything but. “You’d never realize how hard it is to talk about one product for that long,” said Ashley Barnes, 17, a 12th-grader at Sickles High in Tampa.

“You start to repeat yourself to try to fill up the minutes,” added Sarah Serra, 16, an 11th-grader at Countryside.

The products the seven students got a chance to pitch varied: A pair of sunglasses. Scrapbook paper. A wallet on a string. Each student had only a few minutes to choose a product, examine it, read a blue card listing the product’s features, and come up with a sales pitch. Each was supposed to talk for three minutes while the cameras rolled, but most didn’t make it that long.

Wilkerson said she “looked at all the products and picked the one that had the most features, so I could talk about it longer.” It was a portable sewing machine.

Cremeans, who has been a show host for 20 years, praised all seven, but said Wilkerson demonstrated a rare combination of talents: an on-camera presence and an ability to sell. “She only had 10 minutes to prepare,” Cremeans said. “She did everything I would have as a host.”

She seemed just as much at ease when she got on set. After HSN’s makeup artists conducted a quick touchup, Wilkerson joined Wolf and Debra Murray, a representative of Wolfgang Puck, on the air. Jordan knew nothing about the panini, a grilled sandwich, but didn’t hesitate to add to the conversation.

“I don’t know how to cook, so this would be perfect,” she told Wolf and Murray during the live demonstration. “I live with my dad alone. We mostly eat fast food.”

Jordan wants a career in broadcasting but would rather talk about the weather than sandwiches. She hopes to be a meteorologist and has shadowed Denis Phillips at WFTS-Ch. 28 and John Winter at WFLA-Ch. 8.

The other six who auditioned have eyes on broadcasting or performing careers and have been gaining experience toward those goals. Other participants included were Robyn Hurlburt, 16, an 11th-grader at Sickles; Jillian Pavlica, 17, a 12th-grader at Countryside; Ryan Roberts, 17, a 12th-grader at Sickles; and Sara Romine, 15, an eighth-grader at Blake Academy in Lakeland.

Other groups of Junior Achievement students attending HSN’s Shadow Day got a chance to tour the facility and learn about the company’s Web site, the quality assurance labs, the call center and the live studios.